ho hum....my back hurts

And thats because I am old today. Birthday old. On your birthday I think you're supposed to feel birthday old. It isn't like regular old. On your birthday everybody always says how do you feel? Do you feel old? Usually you can't feel old that fast, but on birthdays you can. So it is birthday old. It's a special old. And I feel it today. Except it wasn't really that eventful <--- Is that even right? Anyway. I got to school and Rachel had put balloons on my locker and she put an apple fritter and a smoothie inside. She's good like that. And I hadn't eaten breakfast yet so it worked out kind of perfectly. hmmmm what else. I'm working right now. Not exactly the thing you want to do on your birthday, especially your twentieth. Although I guess it is a good way to kick off my years as a non teenager. You know responsible and whatnot. This year's birthday wasn't as big of a bust as last years though. Thats good. Last year I was driving back to Rexburg and I didn't get to have a cake so mom put one in a bag for me and I had to put it in my trunk and it broke apart. So I had to eat a crumbling un-frosted cake alone when I got back to school. Yeah last year's birthday was pretty bad. But at least this year I got an intact fritter. Whoo-hoo. I think Wallace, my fish, might die. I came home yesterday and he hadn't eaten his food, which never ever happens because Wallace is a hungry boy. Anyway his food was all mushy on the top and his water was sick. It smells like death. So that would be a pretty crappy birthday present to have my fish kick the bucket but oh well. He is an old fish. coming up on two years soon I think. What a trooper. Oh and I curled my hair today too, because you know you want to look somewhat nice on your birthday. At least I think that is commonplace. Anyway everybody said it was pretty even if they didn't kow it was my birthday, so thats nice to hear. And there is a stupid boy, I'll call him BHBII, for butt head boy 2, in honor of my sisters original BHB. And we used to be good friends and then we weren't because of his own dang fault, and I'm not really complaining about that, but still it is rather weird when I say hi and he says nothing. Like today, we have a class together, he knows it is my birthday, and he says nothing. Fine. But just now he walks in the lab and I say hello and he does this awkward smile thing. He can't look me in the eye when he speaks anyway, but he didn't even tell me hello let alone how was your break? or happy birthday. For crying outloud. It may sound selfish but if you all knew the entire situation you agree with me that he is completely and utterly pathetic. Also for all my family I want you to know that I am already on the roll with your christmas present. I might not have them yet but I am pretty clear on what it is that I am getting for you. So go ahead and panic a bit if you want. And to make matters worse I really don't know what I want. I mean realistically I need money, but it is fun to open presents you know and be surprised even if I do know what I am getting because I found it a week early. But still I didn't open anything for my birthday so I want to open at least one present for christmas that isn't a check you know. ohhhhh breaking news. My friends Audra and Patti just came into the lab and brought me a piece of cake! With confetti frosting. Isn't that just the kindest! I have good friends. Speaking of good friends I have good friends with good parents. Over the break I went to canada with Rachel and Laurel. Laurel's parents fed us every meal. I mean I guess that comes with us staying at their house, but still it was so wonderful. And they gave Rachel and I this great room. The Aloha room actually. It had honu all over the place. Reminded me of home. My hawaii home, which will always kind of be like home I think. Anyway they fed us which was awesome, and then Saturday night Rachel's dad gave me a blessing. I really needed one to get me through these last three weeks, so i was really grateful. When it gets down to these last few weeks I always get so emotional. I usually don't cry about stuff, but in the last few weeks of school I cry about almost everything, stupid stuff. Well maybe I don't cry that much, but comparitively it seems like I do. I'm eating my cake. it is delicious. And I just helped someone with finale. Yeah! I get paid for a reason. Sometimes when I spend hours in here and nobody asks for help I feel like I am stealing money from the school, I mean I'm not because I am making myself available to be asked for help, but still. It is nice when somebody actually asks. This is a rally long entry, but I have a lot to say, and a lot of stress so writing helps relieve it a bit. Juries are monday tuesday wednesday the 14-16. I think i am going to go on monday if possible just to get it done and over with, but monday is fast approaching and I don't know if i will be ready or not. I still don't have anything completely memorized. And I haven't starting staging any of my songs either. That could be the kicker for me really. Bahhhhhahahahah. Good thing I have good friends to keep me sane. Rachel and I promised each other that we will keep each other in check these last weeks. Hopefully we keep that promise. I need to. I think I am going to watch last week's episode of the office tonight on my computer as a present to myself. Even though there are a thousand, probably literally a 1000, other things I need and should be doing. Well I am going to finish my cake and go home to FHE and then come back to work. salaam.

Depression

Today I was asked by my teacher to travel to New York and do the Met auditions. For those who don't know that is not only a huge compliment, especially coming from my teacher, but also an opportunity that doesn't come around that often. These auditions are held once a year and are extremmmmely prestigious. When she told me I was literally speechless. I had no idea what to say. Needless to write I've been beyond happy all day and excited and nervous and everything far and between. I mean she was already talking about setting up saturday rehearsals starting this saturday and changing around our whole game plan for this semester. This is a big deal guys. So tonight I am working in the piano lab and I decide that I should probably get online and do some research on the audition and the application process. To my upmost dissapointment I was informed by the website that I miss the birth date cut off by a little over 4 months. You had to have been born before July 14th 1989. Even though this chance to go was only given today I am not taking it very well. I was looking forward to this auditon more than anything. It could have done wonders for me. More than I think you can understand. Anyway I'm really sad about it. Now I have to wait three maybe four years for another shot. Thats a long time. I can only hope that I will be asked to go again. Sorry for the dramaloge, but thats how I feel right now. Super duper depressed and squashed.

Blogger.com is....

patronizing me. When you log on the logo on the upper left hand side has a picture of a piece of chocolate birthday cake just staring at me. Double edged sword. I need to do my journal entries but all I can think about is how badly I want cake. Anyway...heres pictures like a promised:

Why are the peaches always gone?

Peaches have almost all gone completely out of season. Sad sad sad. Today I had to buy nectarines instead, which rally isn't that bad of a trade up, but still I miss my peachies. I'm sitting at work right now...working laboriously. I'm coming down to conference on Friday. We don't have tickets but thats fine. better to be a grandmas house than up here for conference because they close the music building anyway.
This past weekend was pretty swedish. Friday night me and my buuuddies went to the ropes course on campus and did that. Saturday morning we woke up way early...like 5...to hike up the R mountain to watch the sunrise. Came back ate a waffle. Then Jeri, laurel, and i met up with our Zions pal Bryon and went rapelling at Bear Gulch up by the lower Mesa. I have some cool pictures that I'll put up once I get home and to my own computer. Grand!
Thats about it. .
Oh nope it's not. Saturday Rachel and I babysat for my friend Ross. He and his wife have a 3 month year old and haven't been on a date since he was born. Instead of paying us they bought me and rach dinner. They're great, we weren't expecting anything. Before we left his wife Triest gave us each a jar of homemade peach jelly. That stuff is godly let me just tell you. Seriously I want nothing more in life than to drown myself in Triest Grahams peach jelly. Good Glory mercy above. It is divine.

lets talk about .....dates babay, lets talk about you and me.

Ahhh dating. Youths most cherished and at the same time most hated pastime. I myself am not much of a dating advocate. Sure i understand the importance of it and yadda yadda, but still, I just don't enjoy it all that much. Friday night I went to this gig for a group called Nashville Tribute. They are a country group that has made a bunch of "tributes, " who would've thunk, for the prophet Joseph, missionaries, and the pioneers. Now pardon me but, these Mormon tributes can walk the cliff of being dare I say it, corny. Most actually take the plunge. Needless to say, i was very wary going into this concert, thinking I would die a slow painful hand clappin' arm wavin' praisin' above glory glory halleujah death. However. . . drumroll please....I really liked it. It was very well put together, great message, very mormon don't get me wrong, but I didn't feel like I was on one of those Christian revival gospel CD infomericials. I was on a date though. And i must say something here. never, I repeat never take a music major to a musical production if yourself are not a music major, or have a problem keeping your piggy little mouth shut. When i am at a concert I want to listen. Not be talked at. Remember that all. Do a service to yourself and remember that. After the tribute we went back to his house and me and him and his roomate and his date made cinnamon rolls from pillsbury biscuits. The best aprt of this was the popping of the biscuit can. There really is not much more satisfying than popping open a biscuit can. prove me wrong. i dare you. Baking, Eating, unimportant and stupid banter, then home finally. then i went to my summer house and stayed until threein the morning. meaning i slept until 11 today! hazzah! Then I had a date this afternoon with one of my old neighbors from the summer. When he picked me up I literally knew nothing about what we were going to do. And to be honest i was a litte creeped out by that. Anyway he picked me up and told me that we were having the ultimate musical date. Starting with a fiddler on the roof, on the roof lunch. We literally climbed up onto hios roof and he had a whole lunch spread. like chiken parmasgene ( I spelled that wrong.) and pasta and a salad with sauteed mushrooms. yum. And martenelli's of course. Ok so that was cool. And then we dressed up like newsies. he had the shirts and the vests and the hats and all that. And we had newspapers. And we went to his neighbors house and delievered the paper to him. Then he gave us twenty smackers. Then we went to this park by the water tower up y the temple and our friend jon Diaz was waiting there on a blanket with jambe juice. I guess jon went to massage school for a time. So he taught my date how to give proper hand and feet massages. Jon left, and my date gave me a hand and foot massage. Poor boy had to touch my pedi. Then he dropped me off at home and when i got there, there was a single flower waiting with a note that said..for an award winning date. Thats the short of it. But pretty good eh.
So here is what I learned today. my friday night date I was excited for and my date today i was dreading. I was thrown for a loop when my friday date was a dudly dursley, and my date today was a gem. now, i will probably not go on dates with eiother of them again, but still. It proves to me that you should always say yes once to a person who asks you out. You never know how much fun it could be. Then you never have to say yes again. Good moral right. Shwing shwing.

peaches......

........ . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .28

sittin' on the dock of the bay watchin' the tide roll away oohhh....

Momma found this little guy hanging out on my toilet seat! Isn't he just the most. Well before I get much further I must say something. Today I not only went to aerobics and did an hour of kickboxing; I went to the gym later and did 10.01 miles on the elliptical, burning a grand total of 978 calories! I'm basically the hulk. I could squash you with my thumb. And soon I'll be so cut that my pelvic bone will portrude, like all those fit people.

Peach Count since last Thursday: 22